Marriages fail because couples are not committed companions, Pastor Troy Murphy said in his Classic Marriage message on Sunday. Companionship is critical in a marriage, and there are seven areas we should focus on.

by Mike Vandermause on April 30, 2018

Marriage is two people knitted together in companionship, Pastor Troy Murphy said during his message at Community Church on Sunday, April 29. It was the second in our four-week Classic Marriage series.

If we want to be a reflection of God’s glory there has to be a covenant of companionship in marriage.

In marriages we often fight for our individual worth, fight to be right or fight to be happy. But if there’s any fight in your marriage, it should be the fight to stay together in order to reflect God’s glory and be used to fight real enemies.

Marriages fail because couples are not committed companions. Companionship is critical to development in a marriage.

Troy listed seven areas of companionship that couples should experience:

Spiritual companionship

This is the most important. It means you pray together, talking about your struggles with sin and what God is teaching you. God is the one who fills empty spaces in your soul, not your spouse. You need to be committed as a couple to center your marriage around God. Spiritual conversations are profound and necessary, and it includes conversation about your flaws.

Verbal companionship

The silent treatment is so junior high. It’s a common tactic in marriages but doesn’t represent companionship. Even when you’re angry with one another you have to figure out how to talk. If you have something to say and it’s not in love, don’t say it. Things said to your spouse should be done with a heart of love. Go to your spouse directly with a problem or issue, not to other people.

Emotional companionship

God has given all of us emotions. For those who don’t show those emotions, they have simply learned how to operate without expressing them. But if you’re human, you have emotions and they should be expressed with your spouse. It means sitting in the pain sometimes, rather than avoiding it. Embrace the emotion, even if painful, and not try to fix it. Our spouse is not looking to be fixed, but instead is looking for a companion to walk with them in the pain.

Financial companionship

Money can be a contentious issue. Couples need to walk together in making choices and decisions involving finances. If you make decisions independently then you are operating like roommates, not companions. Pre-nups and separate bank accounts can signal a red flag because those go against the idea of companionship.

Recreational companionship

What are you doing for fun? Where do you enjoy life? You should be doing things together.

Parental companionship

Discipline together. Get on the same page when it comes to children. Even after children are adults you should continue the dialog about relating to your children.

Sexual companionship

All of the focus can’t be on this form of companionship. This can’t be more important than other forms of companionship, but this area also can’t be neglected. Sex shouldn’t be held as a bartering card. It should be mutually agreed upon. If sex is held back, it can lead to bitterness, pulling away, disappointment and finger pointing.