By Troy Murphy

It did not take me long this morning to get ready to face the world, but I did have some priorities: Look good and put together. Or another way to say it is, cover whatever would be embarrassing and weak.

I repeat this process daily. It’s like I have a built-in defense mechanism, just like Adam and Eve. I cover my shame. We have been programmed by our guilt, shame and a world that pretends to be perfect. We operate in a make-believe system of perfection. It is why we are so defensive when we should be open. It is why we are overstressed trying to meet an unrealistic expectation that only God can complete.

God is a realist. In the gospel of Luke Jesus has just called on Matthew to follow him and leave his crooked tax collector business. In Luke 5.31-32 Jesus said: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Jesus said he was looking for people who need his help. Do you need his help? I do.

I am a broken man who struggles to find his identity in Christ because of voices that tell me I must build things. In my sickness I often seek to be needed by others more than I do God, especially my loved ones. I rarely believe that I am gifted by God and so I pursue more abilities to gain more value from others. I am often lonely even though I know God’s promise of being with me. I have a difficult time being satisfied with the present for fear that I will be useless if I stand still.

Even though I was affirmed by many adults as a child, including people who told me God had a special purpose for my life, I tend to hear the one voice of a relative that said I would never amount to anything.

I long to be connected to others but find that I don’t believe they will want that connection without me doing something for them.

I need a doctor. The truth is that I am finding more peace and comfort these days being honest and open about my need for Jesus. I need him daily. Do you?

My daily prayer: Father, will you use me today for your glory despite my flaws, sin and rebellion. Will you remind me of your love through others and this amazing world you have created. Give me confidence in your power in me and remove my blind perspective that is me. Write a song today with my life. In the name of Jesus, who has found a sick person -- me. Amen.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -- 2 Corinthians 12:9

Troy Murphy is lead pastor at Green Bay Community Church