The sun was shining and a foot of snow was hanging in the trees from a recent snowstorm. Pine boughs and white lights adorned the church. Our friend was a beautiful bride in her dazzling white gown with elegant trim. The sparkles in her long train matched the sparkles in their young eyes.
The minister gave a thoughtful wedding sermon. He relayed his practice of asking during pre-marital counseling, "Why do you want to get married?" The answer was always, "Because we love each other."
He said his typical follow-up question is, "Why do you love each other?" In answer, most couples talk about how wonderful the other makes them feel. He would go on to tell them that what they were describing is "being loved," and yes, it is a great blessing to be loved and to know it. "But to love is quite different than being loved," he distinguished...
Being loved is only half the equation and not the half we need to focus on.
To love is to put the other person before yourself. To love is to help your partner to become the best they can be. To love is to think of the other person’s needs and to contemplate what it means to make him or her feel loved always, through everything. Love often means sacrifice. This kind of love will carry us through the hard things that will inevitably be part of the mix.
I thought of my parents – they modeled it so well in their marriage. Having grown up watching their thoughtful consideration of each other in a myriad of circumstances, I believe it is one of the very best gifts a couple can give their children: the stability of a good marriage and a selfless example of love.
I looked at the newly married couple and said a quick prayer. If more people looked at “love” this way, more marriages would be solid, more children would live in secure homes, more families would know how to love well.
A wedding happens in the midst of family and friends. We are all there to support and encourage the new Mr. and Mrs. to make their marriage the best it can be. The church and community rallies around them to help ensure their success. The ceremony reminds married couples of the sacred vows they have exchanged and reminds all of us what it means to really “love.”
The world wants to tell us life is "all about me" and "getting what I need." Being surrounded by this culture can begin to rub off. But Jesus gave us a very different example. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19 NIV
He loved us when we were unlovable. Isn’t it amazing to be loved with a deep and profound love? As humans, it is hard to love without expecting something back (acknowledgement, reciprocated affection?). But we are to love the way God loves… we are to love first!
Dear God, Author of Love, I pray for marriages to be solid and strong. It is only with your help that we can love the way you love, the way you intended love to be. Whether in marriage or other relationships, help us to love first. Let us put love in action by serving others so we can bring out the best. Thank you for your awesome example of real love.
