It’s difficult for Cristi Emery, who grew up near Green Bay, to forget April 9, 2004. It was Good Friday, and the most painful day of her life.
The monthlong search for her missing husband, Clarence, ended in heartbreaking fashion that day when police found his body in the East River.
Cristi, then 19 years old, and Clarence had been married for just three months and spent nearly all their free time together. They were teenage sweathearts and seemed destined to be lifelong soul mates.
But Clarence’s widely publicized disappearance ended tragically, and the local newspaper ran a front-page photo of Cristi in her darkest hour just after receiving the news about her husband’s fate.
It’s hard to say what was worse: the month of uncertainty about where her husband was, or the finality of learning he was dead. Cristi was left devastated and racked with grief as she thought back to the last time she saw Clarence alive.
On the day Clarence went missing, at the suggestion of a friend, the couple experimented with a mushroom-laced candy bar that sent them into a hallucinogenic stupor.
Clarence became particularly paranoid and edgy and despite Cristi’s protestations, wanted to leave their apartment. Cristi tried to block his path at the door, but Clarence did something out of character. He had been a loving husband and was never violent, but he grabbed Cristi's neck and said he didn’t know what he was capable of doing to her.
Fearful for her safety, Cristi stepped aside and Clarence bolted out of their apartment.
In reflecting on what turned out to be her final hours with Clarence, Cristi was struck by the fact her husband called out to Jesus and asked for forgiveness.
She found this odd, since the couple didn’t profess to believe in Jesus and went out of their way not to mention God when they were married by a judge.
“To me that was scariest part of the whole thing because we didn’t pray to Jesus,” said Cristi. “We were not believers at all.”
Cristi struggled to deal with her grief after Clarence’s death.
“I was depressed, tried to shove it out of the way like it never happened, started drinking every night,” said Cristi. “I did not know how to live without him.”
But it also became apparent that God was making his presence known in her life.
On the night before her husband’s funeral, Clarence’s aunt gave Cristi her first Bible and comforted her with a verse from Romans that said: “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
She thought of Clarence crying out to Jesus on the night he disappeared and became convinced he was in heaven. Cristi determined the only way she would see Clarence again is if she opened her heart to God.
A friend of Cristi’s moved in with her, taught her about praying directly to God, and recommended she attend Green Bay Community Church. Her faith started to take hold with the realization that Jesus was truly the son of God, died for her sins and rose from the dead.
“All of a sudden I just wanted to believe it,” Cristi said. “This stuff really happened.”
It was also at Green Bay Community Church that Cristi met Allyn Emery. The two became friends, eventually started dating and fell in love.
Cristi marvels at the incredible grace Allyn showed her, even as she was still grieving the loss of Clarence.
“There were times I cried in Allyn’s arms about how I missed Clarence,” said Cristi. “He would teach me about what the Bible says about those things. It’s unbelievable how much he put up with me when I’m still grieving about someone I love.”
Cristi and Allyn married in 2006, later got baptized on the same day, and now have two children, Eden and Traverse.
In the midst of enduring incredible adversity, Cristi discovered God on the other side.
“I worry about tests I still have,” she said. “Things aren’t perfect, but it’s a lot easier when you have God in your life.”
