Are you living out a religion or a relationship?
That was the key question Student Pastor Dave O’Vell asked during his message on Sunday, May 27 at Community Church.
Dave said the hope in telling his story is to challenge, encourage and push listeners to grow in their own spiritual journey. Here are some highlights from Dave’s story:
*He was a pastor’s kid (PK) growing up, which came with its share of challenges. He felt there was a spotlight on him, which generated pressure to know all the spiritual answers, be good and stay out of trouble.
*In elementary school he raised his hand at VBS to trust Jesus but was told by the teacher that because he was the pastor’s kid he didn’t have to worry about that. Just when Dave started to think he could get a “free ride” on his dad’s merit, he was straightened out by his mother, who told him that every person has to make a personal decision to trust Jesus for salvation.
*In middle school Dave started to question some of his beliefs about Christianity, such as: If my parents were Muslim would I be Muslim? How do I know the Bible is true? What if there is no heaven? But since Dave felt he needed to know all the answers because he was a pastor’s kid, he didn’t bring up any of these questions and decided he had to figure out the answers on his own.
That led him down a road of religion, in which he got caught up in following a list of do’s and don’t’s. It was more important to look good on the outside, as if he had his act together, rather than grow in a deeper relationship with Jesus.
*In high school some of Dave’s questions got deeper and more serious, such as: Why is there so much bad in the world? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dave’s inner frustration was growing but he continued to live with the expectation that he had to have all the answers. This was reinforced when Dave, as a member of the high school wrestling team, was probed by his coach with deep spiritual questions. They weren’t asked in an antagonistic or mean way, but it gave Dave the feeling he was the resident theologian because his dad was a pastor.
*While Dave began to resent that people knew he was a pastor’s kid, there was an incident with his mother in the grocery store one day that made a major impact. Someone introduced his mother as the pastor’s wife, to which the person said: "You must be very religious?" Dave’s mom replied: "No, not at all. It’s not about me being religious but about me having a relationship with Jesus.”
That was in many ways life changing for Dave, who began to focus on Ephesians 2: 8-10, which reads: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Dave’s conclusion was this: Salvation is not a reward for good things we do. It’s not about being good enough or proving your worth. It’s God’s grace that he freely gives to each of us and we simply have to receive it. Religion is all about you, which is not true faith. Salvation comes from a relationship and accepting what Jesus has done for you.
*Dave said he spent years growing up keeping a mask on and trying to do the right thing and making sure people were happy with what he was doing. He even thought that his behavior or misbehavior could jeopardize his dad’s job as a pastor. It was ingrained in Dave to tow the line and do whatever needed to be done to please people on the outside. He realizes now that that wasn’t truth, and that he doesn’t have to put on a mask. He can ask questions. He doesn’t have to be perfect.
*In college Dave had a professor who would talk with him on a regular basis about spiritual matters. Dave wasn’t aware of it at the time, but the professor was discipling him by offering challenges, encouragement and providing a forum for Dave to ask questions. When Dave graduated, the professor was retiring and offered him all of his student ministry books.
This planted in Dave a passion to reach out to students and provide a place where they could ask questions and discuss spiritual matters honestly. Dave didn’t feel like he had a place to ask questions growing up, so that lit a fire in him to provide that place for students. That is why he remains to this day a pastor to students.
“I need to develop discipleship for students,” Dave said. “If I need it in my life, students need it in theirs.”
Dave determined that in dealing with students, it’s not the great messages or killer devotionals he can generate that matter most. Instead, the most impactful times are when there is an environment where students can ask questions and share from their hearts and grow.
*Dave’s passion is that we need to do everything we can to reach out to students and get them connected so that they too can go through a discipleship path. It means building relationships with students so they can feel free to ask questions and engage in honest dialog. Everything we do should be pointed toward encouraging students to take the next spiritual step, wherever they are in their journey.
Dave feels called to student ministry and said he can’t imagine doing anything else.
His message to students, and everyone else, is that we should stop trying to be good enough. It’s only through God’s grace that you grow. God loves you for who you are right now.
