Mary and Kevin Meyer welcomed Steffen John Meyer into the world on Oct. 20, 2015. Their little bundle of joy weighed 8 pounds, 3 ounces and joins a family that includes 4-year-old Dawson and 2-year-old Mya.
"It is such a precious gift to be holding the little man God has been molding for so many months,” Mary said. "Our hearts are overfilled with happiness!"
What a difference a year makes. Twelve months earlier Mary and Kevin were heartbroken after losing a baby nearly two months into Mary's pregnancy. But that pain from 2014 turned into a great blessing in 2015.
Mary has discovered that no matter the circumstances — whether standing in the darkest valley or scaling the highest mountain peak -- God proves himself to be faithful. And having Christian friends that rallied around the couple in the midst of their pain and were also there to share in their joy makes a huge impact.
Through it all, God has impressed upon Mary’s heart that it’s important to share her story. If one person can draw strength from her experience and get pointed to God’s overwhelming presence, then she knows it will be worth it.
One night last February Mary had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep. She was prompted by God to write about the valleys in her life, which included her miscarriage and being the victim of an assault more than a decade earlier during college. Mary’s story was published in the March issue of a MOPS (Mothers or Preschoolers) newsletter.
Despite the pain she had experienced, Mary nevertheless concluded her newsletter article with these words: “Being close to (God) seems like the biggest mountaintop one can be on, no matter the situation. So, now I know to take the peaks and valleys one step at a time, with Him beside me the whole way. The valleys might be where we truly feel the desperation we need to make life matter more for Him. What a blessing that is!"
One week after writing those words, Mary found out she was pregnant, and nearly nine months later Steffen John was born.
Mary had no idea another child would arrive so soon after losing one. But she chose to trust God no matter the circumstances.
“It came down to me remembering it’s not my timing, it’s God’s timing,” Mary says now. “He was making the difficulties of my past more beautiful."
Mary also learned that being vulnerable enough to share her struggles with other people was necessary. “Having honest, open relationships will bring us closer to Him,” she said.
Mary grew up in Chilton, Wis., the youngest of three siblings. She describes being raised in a loving family. Mary was introduced to the knowledge of Jesus at a young age, but it wasn’t until she was a teenager that her eyes were opened to what a relationship with him meant.
Mary attended UW-Green Bay for her teaching degree and while there got involved with Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU).
“I was involved in CRU, had plenty of friends, and felt I was in a strong healthy place,” Mary recalls. “I had nothing but beautiful, warm, wonderful feelings at UWGB."
But at the beginning of her sophomore year, Mary’s world was shattered. While going for a jog on campus on a sunny August morning, she was the victim of a violent sexual assault. She wound up in the hospital with abrasions and a concussion, not to mention deep emotional scars.
“The trust that man took away that day was definitely real,” Mary said. She was surrounded by family and friends and was girded by her faith, but it was a difficult ordeal.
“Instead of choosing to talk about it openly, I withdrew my feelings so I could work them out myself,” Mary explains now. “There was a lot of healing I didn’t let God do in my heart. I was probably frightened. I didn’t want people to pour sympathy into me.
“It wasn’t a healthy way to deal with that situation, but it was the best way I could deal with it at that point."
Mary still deals with fear brought on by the attack. “I even struggle today, at dawn or dusk, with looking over my shoulder,” she said. “I remember being very particular about who I could trust, who I could rely on to walk me to different places. … I feel like I had an anger toward men, trusting men. It took me several years to deal with that. It’s forever something that is part of my mind."
Mary said she was never angry at God and never asked the question, ‘Why me?' But her recovery was slow. “It took me many years,” she said. “I’m at a point where I can say it is well with my soul."
When the devastation of losing a child hit last year, Mary was better prepared to handle the fallout. She took time to listen to God and put her eyes on His plan. She focused on the blessings that came out of that difficult time.
There was the co-worker who provided comfort. There were the 20 children in her classroom, with each face serving as a reminder to her of the miracle of life. There was her husband Kevin’s strength — he reminded her of the greeting their little one would one day give them in heaven. There were the complete strangers praying over them. There were the women at her MOPs table providing support. There were the phone calls and texts from family members and close friends leading her to appreciate God’s blessings.
“This time, I put my nose in scripture, knowing that my desperation for Him was what I needed to grow stronger in my faith,” Mary said.
Through her experiences Mary carries an urgency to make life matter for eternity. “Having vulnerability with people and having conversations where tears can happen leads to relationships with others that God really calls us to have,” Mary said.
Her faith has grown deeper through the hard times. “It wasn’t until last year I could truly see what it meant to have a strong faith that would help guide a trial into maybe the biggest blessing in my life,” Mary said. “While happy great things in our life are blessings, I think the trials we go through are the biggest blessing of all."
Mary, who recently accepted a leadership role in the MOPs program at GBCC, says she is now able to connect with people at a heart level, particularly with those who have experienced circumstances similar to hers.
“I have a close friend of mine who went through the same scenario, she struggled in so many ways with the same types of feelings I had,” Mary said. “I would thank God at night after praying for her, that I would have the ability to truly connect with her, truly let my emotions pour into her life. He had me be the vessel to helping her deal with that struggle in a more faithful way."
Mary has discovered that God’s blessings come in good times and in difficult times, and she has learned to be grateful through it all. “I have been given so much in this life,” Mary said. “It’s just as beautiful when I am gripping onto his hand in the middle of the night with a struggle in my heart."
